My son bounces in his seat, on his toes, in his body. I watch him. Study every cause and effect. My mind fires off theories, bright shooting stars of hope. He quotes his shows and computer games. He laughs at the funniest jokes only he hears. He smiles so big my heart swells and breaks at the same time. He struggles with noise, but is a generator of tremendous sound, high-pitched, rising and falling volumes so quick those around him shake their heads and peddle their feet in the opposite direction. He'd like to put his brother in a padded room with a lock on the door only he has the key to. He has a vision of his world with heroes, weapons, weather gods, his mom. I'm so important to him when you ask, "Will, what do you want to do when you grow up?" He says every time "Help my mom." I try to reach him always. I fail often. He's struggling with the change I'm bringing to his world and I think he's pissed. I told him he can be as mad at me as he wants. "Oh yeah. Okay, Mom."(By Nieminen Gene, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
That's a good boy and an amazing pic. :)
ReplyDeleteHe's a very good kid that's for sure. I got the picture from this awesome free domain website, http://www.blogher.com/frame.php?url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Public_domain_image_resources
DeleteThanks for stopping by E.J. I hope the writing is coming along (for completely self-serving reasons).
You let me speechless, Robyn. He must be a very good boy indeed. And the way you describe a simple scene, is amazing. Like you just look at him and you see a hole new world. Like you can read his thoughts. That's motherhood, right?
ReplyDeleteYeah, you're right. That's motherhood. You learn every little expression. He didn't talk for years and he couldn't point or sign for a long time, so I would study him as much as possible. One look and I knew what was going on, until I didn't and all hell broke loose until I figured it out. When we had him evaluated for special services through the school district they told me, "You know him so well and take care of his every need. It's time to stop doing that." That was motherhood too, getting out of his way.
DeleteThank you for the nice words, Athina!
Oh Robyn, this breaks my heart. He's going to be okay. I know it's hard on him (and you) but once things calm down and he gets his structure back, he'll be ok. Don't you think? You ARE a great momma! You do the best you can do and that's all any of us can do. Your boys are amazing! You and Will(and John) have been though a lot and you'll make it through this, together.
ReplyDeleteGood good words, Brandee! You saw right to the heart of it. We make so many decisions, but this one is right and Will is going to soar. We all are. I just know it. Thanks for the reminder!!! My mom already included us on the answering machine greeting. How cool is that? So cool.
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