Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Think Out Loud [39] Name Calling, Terms of Endearment, & Other Bad Behavior

This week a twenty-something woman called me sweetie on the phone. There are times when terms of endearment are sweet, and times when they are laser beams into a person's skull. Guess which one I experienced. It got me thinking back on times when a few words, and one time one simple word, sent me spiraling into a total fit. 

Years ago on an exercise walk in my old neighborhood I crossed paths with a woman walking her dog. She took issue with me being on the same sidewalk and moved across the street. A minute later, a pit bull with no owner and no collar rounded the corner. I casually stepped into the street as if I didn't care the dog was only a block and a half ahead. Halfway to the other sidewalk, the woman with the dog yelled, "Lady, do not come over here!" Oh, did that piss me off. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it amounted to "Sure, I'll be a chew toy so you and your dog can get to safety." A second after my rant I looked back at her sour face and yelled, "And don't call me lady!"

Again, years ago when I was very pregnant with my oldest, a massive truck backed out of a driveway right in front of my car. I had to screech to a stop, so of course, I honked, but this time it wasn't to get pissy, it was to tell the driver his reverse lights were out. 
"Hey, your reverse-"
"Shut the F up, you F-ing C-word." 
"But your lights-"
He flipped me off.
I blame the hormones and the fact that the C-word is the worst thing to call a person, but I had to pull over because the asshole hurt my feelings. I looked at his crappy tan house, "Your house sucks and you're mean and you're going to a special hell for calling a pregnant woman the C-word." He was long gone, but I felt a little better.

My sister was teasing me (not unusual) and called me a lazy slut. 
"I am not lazy! You're a lazy slut."
"Sloth, Robyn."
"Oh. Still."
"You're okay with being called a slut." I shrugged. So slut was totally okay with me, but lazy got me riled.

How about you all? Do you have seemingly harmless trigger words? Have you been insulted and had no response until the person was long gone? 

Think Out Loud is an "anything you want to post" meme. Join us. We're cool people.


  1. Oh, so sorry all those bad sayings were directed at you for no apparent reason what so ever. People can be so cruel and irrational.

    Well, as my younger sister describes me, I always sound mad when I talk, or more like annoyed. And yes it's true, but I only sound like that with them. Why? Because they are annoying and it's always when I'm either reading or blogging and need to concentrate that they bother me. So yea, I will sound mad and annoyed.
    And if I have been insulted? I don't know, maybe. I heard someone said "Chink" but I'm not sure if it was to me or for something else all together so I wasn't affected by it.
    I was call a boy by a distant relative (aunt ) of my mother's. She was surprised I was a girl when my mother said two of her daughters came to visit. To which the aunt's response was, "I only see one pretty daughter, where's the other?" My mother pointed to me and the aunt blurted out,"That's your daughter!? I thought that was your son!" She said I looked like my father so yea. I was offended, embarrassed, humiliated....and speechless!!! *sighs* I had my hair down and everything! *shakes head*

    1. Oh no! That is terrible. Awful. I can barely remember comments along those lines. I've worked my lifetime to forget. The insults spoken with me right there usually revolved around my weight or my scars. Those tactless people had no idea they were creating artists, writers, and readers, did they? Ha on them!

  2. Well, Robyn, some people are mean without reason. I guess this is the only way they know how to behave. I detest those people. I can't remember a specific incident for me, but I have a recent one with my mother.

    We were walking the dogs one night. We go to the port, where it's quiet and there are no people who may be afraid of them. That night though a man and two women appeared and the dogs run to sniff them. We called them back, but they just sniffed them, barked once and returned to us.

    Well, the man was furious. He said that we doesn't want the dog to sniff his wife and he started telling his name like it meant something! My mother was furious too and they argued.

    I hate people who think they are superior for no reason and I really ignore them. A name doesn't tell me anything. Yelling for no reason and saying that you are someone and that's why we need to leave so you can walk in peace, tells me a lot about you. I would understand yelling if the dogs attacked them or bite them, but a sniff and a bark from two playful dogs, it's not that big of a deal!

    I have never cursed a stranger on the street, I have never caused trouble or curse someone with no reason. If there is something I don't like around me on the street, I walk faster and avoid it. It's a free country. Who am I to tell another person where he can and can't go?

    I'm telling you, it's never good when someone is snob. Eventually their crankiness and spitefulness come back to haunt them. True story.

    1. I've never had anyone behave that way. It must have been terrible to witness people yelling at your mom. The part where the man was yelling his name was crazy! That's the whole "Don't you know who I am?" B.S. What he's too good to be sniffed by a dog? I wish this sort of thing rolled off my back better. I think the Golden Rule can work for everyone, religious or not.

  3. I'm sorry but I'm laughing at this your expense. *wipes tears* Ok, I'm totally down with being pissed at dog lady and I have no words for asshole man...NO WORDS. But I'm giggling over you being okay with slut but not lazy. *hahaha*

    Ok, I think I've recovered...somewhat. I NEVER...I repeat NEVER have words when I really want them. I can't really think of a certain word that would offend me over another (although I admit lazy would really bother me) but I do have a story...

    I was covering a lunch break in the music dept (at B&N) a few years ago. A male customer brought a few DVDs to the register and asked a few questions. I answered his questions and then tried to hand the DVDs back to him. And he looked at me disdainfully and said "uh, you can put those away you pandering white bitch." Now, I was completely speechless because I did NOTHING to deserve any of his wrath. Or his ugly words. And I really don't understand exactly what he meant!

    Ah people...they're the worst! *hahahaha*

    I hope your week is sailing by splendidly, Robyn! *HUGS*

    1. Oh my gosh, I'm blinking in shock. Weird reaction, I know. That is a terrible thing to happen. And it's so confusing too. I mean, WTF? I would be speechless too. I hope I wouldn't throw the CDs at his head, but that's a possibility. The one good thing about our kind of stunned reactions is that we're less likely to be arrested for beating dumb asses over the head with whatever is handy at the time. But it's hard on the pride. I consider myself tough, but it feels wussy not to stand up for yourself. Still, I think we react exactly the way we're supposed to, like our brains survey the situation and decide to shut down rather than incite someone completely unstable. That's my theory, anyway.

      I hope you have a great weekend, Brandee! It will be football mania here.

  4. I'm actually more of a talk-back person, and unfortunately, that can rile up someone who started insulting me much, much more. I especially enjoy it when I don't specifically insult them, but rather point out how what they said is just grammatically wrong, and have they never been to school, or something like that.

    In French, there's also this weird thing were you say 'tu' (you) to people you know well, but you say 'vous' (which is also plural you) to those you don't really know, as a show of respect. Last year, my youngest son had a lot of problems at hockey - even the adults were picking on him, and it pissed me off royally! And when I went to talk to some of those guys about it, one started out the conversation saying 'tu' to me, and when he got a little agitated, he was saying 'vous' and I told him he could stuff his polite vous far up where the sun don't shine... It didn't exactly win me any friends, though, but my son was happy his mama-bear / lion-mom brought out everything to defend him.

    Thanks for sharing, Robyn.

    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

    1. Oh, man how cool would it be to insult someone in French. I love the tu/vous story and how wonderful your boy had you in his corner. I think Brandee and I will have to channel you the next time we're tongue-tied in the face of outrageous behavior. The best would be accidentally using a French accent because we fell too deep into the "Lexxie-kick-ass" role.

  5. The one word I abhor more than any other is the c-word. No woman should EVER be called that! He backed out almost into your car!! Who the hell does he think he is??

    What was that dog walking woman's prob? She sounds like a total weirdo.

    People are such assholes sometimes. Not all people, just a majority of strangers you come across on the daily. No wonder I love books more (with the exception of my blogger friends, family, and friends). LOL

    1. The c-word guy probably hates people and smiles and puppies. And I'm so glad you called the dog walking woman a weirdo! She looked at me like I was the crazy one for not wanting to volunteer a limb to the stray pit bull.

      Books certainly don't hurt my feelings, and they never call me the c-word. Definitely better than assholes!