Girl Nevermore by R. A. Desilets
(author gifted me ARC for honest review)
Last week, Cooper Mesa was a quiet, studious bookworm.
This week, she feels unworthy of love or forgiveness.
When Cooper's twin sister, Kayla, tries to end her own life, Cooper blames herself. If only she had paid more attention...
Desperate to understand her sister's decision, Cooper starts down a dark path, discovering her own inner turmoil. Losing herself is easy, but finding a reason to live is becoming impossible. (Goodreads blurb)
Cooper Mesa is your typical teenage book girl. For her, life will truly begin once she's free of high school and her mother. She loses herself in stories until her twin sister looks at her in English class and confesses something so terrible, so painful and shocking, Cooper can only sit and watch as life seeps out of her sister one breath at a time.
Girl Nevermore takes us on the emotional roller coaster of loving someone who tried to commit suicide. It's not pretty. Cooper has moments of such grief, I want to hug her. Other times she's so dang selfish I want to shake her silly. That's what suicide does to the loved ones left behind even if the person failed in the attempt, it makes you crazy. It makes you question your role in it. It makes you hate and love at the same time until you're dizzy and in need of the biggest tantrum. I just saw an interview with the late Joan Rivers talking about her husband's suicide, it went something like this, I was so livid, I wanted to kill him! That's it right there. So just imagine a twin sister left alone to this emotional storm because her mother is a clueless asshole. The mom is not a bad person, just a total selfish jerk. I'm sure there are moms like her, but I could not make sense of her actions when it came to Cooper.
My favorite part of the story has to be Logan. Yes, there's a burgeoning romance, which grew from a long time friendship. I'm crazy about him!
Girl Nevermore spoke to me. I'm the opposite of Cooper. She dove straight into her grief. I'm more of a runner and freeze-girl. I freeze out my feelings. I freeze my relationship with the person who at any moment could choose to quit all over again. That was the hardest part of the story. I was worried the whole time Cooper would get herself so twisted up in her head that she'd go the route of her sister. I also kept waiting for news that her sister tried again. So not a relaxing read in any way, but powerful and emotional, and even sweet and lovely.
You can check out author R.A. Desilets on Goodreads and her website. And don't forget to check out Girl Nevermore.