Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Are you a people watcher?

Silhouettes of people along the coast watching the sunset

I've always been a cross between an observer and a space cadet. Three scenes play over in my mind at random times, I'm guessing because each one was emotionally charged and each one was riveting to me.

Years ago while I was washing dishes, screams outside my kitchen window yanked me out of my head. Three women ran out of the unkempt yellow house two doors down. The husband/father was a drinker and I stayed clear of him as a rule. He came charging after them. He caught one of them by the arm and hit her across the face so hard she flew back into the recycle container.

Years ago again I was at the grocery store waiting in the self-checker line. I couldn't stop watching the couple in front of me, young, beautiful, and more subdued than I'd ever witnessed in people actually walking around. They didn't talk to each other when the computer wouldn't cooperate, instead they had this strange nonverbal back and forth that had me tilting my head in confusion and curiosity. Eventually it was my turn to check my groceries, so I left the puzzling duo in favor of my own business. Just as I was climbing into my car, there they were at their car. She waited at the passenger door as he walked around to open her door. I had my belt clicked, keys in the ignition before he finished closing her door. Goodness, they were on a different plane of existence. I leaned over the wheel to watch more because what was happening in their universe? How could they look so calm and move as if walking through mud? He finally finished loading the two bags of groceries and climbed in. He looked at her. She looked at him. Then with a sudden move of total claiming he slipped his hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss.

A few months ago on the last day of elementary school for my oldest boy I checked myself for any wayward emotions that would have me hugging unsuspecting teachers and parents and possibly even crying. Nothing. With the coast clear, I found Will and hurried to the car because I could feel the sneaky emotion rising to the surface. I made it to the car. Will was elated to be done with school. Just as I shifted into reverse I saw a father of one of the kids walking down the front steps. His face was twisted in agony, compelling my foot to step off the gas. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and folded over slightly. Again the look on his face compelled me to stay put. I had my hand on the door. He looked like he's dying. And then I saw what I can't stop seeing in my mind because I've never witnessed it in my life, tears streamed down his face. The man was crying his heart out and I realized for the first time no man has ever cried in front of me.

So I people watch. How about you?

(By Singer Ron, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

14 comments:

  1. This is touching, especially about the man crying. In fact, the other scenarios you talked about were touching, too. I don't think it's right for a man to hit a woman.

    I think I'm also a people watcher. Sometimes I go overboard, curiosity I guess; I'd want to listen to whatever had caused the situation. When I sit around people, I'm usually quiet, but then my ears remain open, waiting to catch their stories.

    Sometimes I hear the good stories, other times I hear the bad ones. But wouldn't life be boring without stories, without people sharing their experiences?

    Nice post, Robyn. Thanks for sharing this! :)

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    1. I'm a better watcher than listener, but I really enjoy listening in on young kids talking. They are my favorite to spectate. I bet you have overheard a lot being the quiet one.

      "Sometimes I hear the good stories, other times I hear the bad ones. But wouldn't life be boring without stories, without people sharing their experiences?" You are absolutely right, Kaykay! And for storytellers, what would we do in a vacuum of just our own experiences? No fun in that!

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    2. Yeah, no fun in that. Writing about our experiences is like walking in a straight corridor. You already know the route, so there are no surprises.

      But writing about other people or characters is more like walking in a huge, dark maze. There are lots and lots of possibilities. You'll definitely encounter many hidden surprises on the way. And that one is fun because you won't be entertaining others, but entertaining yourself as well.

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  2. I'm definitely a people watcher. You learn so much more about them when they don't think you are watching too. I love it when I see someone doing something sweet for someone else without them ever knowing it. That's my favorite observation. Thank you so much for sharing! Jaclyn @ JC's Book Haven.

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    1. I love sweet gestures too. I love watching old couples and kids the most. Kids crack me up and usually say stuff they shouldn't. Old people act without thought to what others around them think. I love that. You're right about learning so much. At Target this weekend in the return line a woman was giving her two cents. She used sarcasm because she was really pissed and had nothing new to add. When she walked away I had to see how the two employees reacted. "Let's get to that isle and fix what's wrong." I was so impressed and thought there were lessons for me to learn on both sides of the confrontation.

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  3. First of all, I love the photo. It's so peaceful that makes me close my eyes and think. I am a people watcher, I've always been.

    Either I'm walking, or I'm enjoying a cup of coffee with friends, there are some minutes, where I found myself watching the people around me. They're kissing, laughing, crying and I can't help but wonder how their lives might be. Are they happy, sad, troubled?

    The first think that comes in to mind now, it's a woman I saw the day before yesterday, during my trip to Paris.

    It was after midnight and we were walking toward the hotel. Passing outside a metro station, a woman climbed the stairs heading toward us. She was young, with dark blond hair and beautiful. Walking closer I saw tears running on her cheeks, but she kept walking, wiping her eyes with her hands.

    I like the mystery that surrounds a stranger you might see on the street, or in a grocery shop. One look and I've already made a scenario in my mind.

    Thanks for sharing, Robyn. Amazing post.

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    1. I know what you mean about filling in the blanks! With the hitter, even while I was on the phone with 911 I was thinking of different scenarios that led the man to lose it (unacceptable no matter what). I'm still dazed by the subdued couple, but the crying man had me firing off so many different scenes.

      I can see your beautiful crying woman. Stunning visual, Athena! Especially the part where she's wiping her tears away. Oh, and the photo I found online is inspired by all the amazing pictures you include with your posts.

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    2. :D I'm smiling.
      I'm really happy that you enjoy my posts. One of these days I will upload my thoughts about Jo Nesbo's, Nemesis.
      Harry Hole is back.
      Have a great day, Robyn.

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  4. That's really awful about the man hitting the woman.
    I have seen men cry before, but there's definitely a preconception that it makes them weak, so it's not very common. Very interesting memories.
    I always people watch, and it's interesting to watch people's body language and facial expressions. I try and be observant, it also makes for good writing. A lot of authors say that it makes your writing more realistic, because you're actually writing about things you've seen.
    ~Tilly @ Hardcore Heroines

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    1. The hitting incident was terrible. The man raced off in his truck before the police arrived, and months later one of those girls had a baby.

      Body language tells so much! Just sitting at a stoplight and watching the pedestrians can feed books worth of colorful side characters. Thanks for stopping by, Tilly!

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  5. Got here via Kay's tweet.
    Nice post. Really nice post.

    Now, I'll just sit and with other watchers on this comment thread.

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    1. I just stopped by your blog and lost time in The Writer's Pity-Party. Have you ever read A Giacometti Portrait by James Lord? The artist dilemma of trying to create something vs. the noise in our heads and the resulting complaints we make, it's a comforting read. Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. I'm a total people watcher, Robyn. And I hope to be able to, one day, relate things in as captivating a way as you do. I was literally tearing up while reading about that father. It's incredible how people will behave, what they'll reveal, when they think no one's watching.

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    1. I'll be right there to read your stories! The man crying reached all the way inside me. I wanted to do something but I had no idea what and I didn't even know him. It's easier to address fear or distress. I've helped so many kids find their parents in grocery stores and at the movies. I've helped old people when their cars broke down or when they need help getting from here to there, but this guy was something else.

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