Years ago Will got the stomach flu. It should have been a miserable few days and then all done. The next week he caught another stomach virus. Then his brain hijacked the rest of him and panic took the form of getting sick. I remember hugging him and triggering two days of throwing up. He lost twenty pounds in a couple months. Finally, I was out of ideas and so upset I stood in front of him and his autism and commanded he stop it. "Take a breath. Stop now!" It was harsh when all I wanted to do was hug him. And it stopped him. The only thing that broke through what became rote behavior was my command and I hated it. That's what motherhood is sometimes, making the hard calls, going against our need for comfort, and sometimes being an asshole. I'm going through something similar with John right now. I want to be one of those unicorn moms (you know totally make believe) and speak in a Kindergarten teacher voice, maybe even rhyme. But then I go through the hard mom routine to keep John from having further complications and he looks up at me and says, "You're the best mom." Shit.
So Happy Mother's Day to all you moms, aunties, sisters, grandmas, mothering types, awesome girlfriends who let your friends with kids have an escape from mom-insanity. We're in it together.