Years ago Will got the stomach flu. It should have been a miserable few days and then all done. The next week he caught another stomach virus. Then his brain hijacked the rest of him and panic took the form of getting sick. I remember hugging him and triggering two days of throwing up. He lost twenty pounds in a couple months. Finally, I was out of ideas and so upset I stood in front of him and his autism and commanded he stop it. "Take a breath. Stop now!" It was harsh when all I wanted to do was hug him. And it stopped him. The only thing that broke through what became rote behavior was my command and I hated it. That's what motherhood is sometimes, making the hard calls, going against our need for comfort, and sometimes being an asshole. I'm going through something similar with John right now. I want to be one of those unicorn moms (you know totally make believe) and speak in a Kindergarten teacher voice, maybe even rhyme. But then I go through the hard mom routine to keep John from having further complications and he looks up at me and says, "You're the best mom." Shit.
So Happy Mother's Day to all you moms, aunties, sisters, grandmas, mothering types, awesome girlfriends who let your friends with kids have an escape from mom-insanity. We're in it together.
Awww Sometimes even if we're harsh, they'll always love us back because they know we're doing something right to help them. Happy Mother's day Robyn.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ki! I tell John I love him always, when he's mad, when he's adorable, when he stinks. He's five so he loves any mention of stinky stuff.
DeleteSo, so true, Robyn. I hate having to be a hardass with my kids...but then they'll do something amazing and I'll say "how did I get such an awesome kid?" and they reply "you've raised an awesome kid!" Yeah, that's the good stuff right there! *sigh* Being a mom isn't always easy but it sure it worth it! Happy Mother's Day, my friend!!
ReplyDeleteYour kids are neato, Brandee. You are so right, being a mom isn't always easy, but it sure it worth it. Funny how they make our hearts flutter but books always talk about that happening with romantic love when I think it happens more from every day things turned amazing. I hope your Mother's Day rocked with all that snow and hopefully lounging!
DeleteHey, Robyn. It took me long enough to read this TOL, but I did it. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, but I know it's not always sunshine and rainbows. It must have been too hard for you, but you're right. Mothers need to be harsh sometimes. My mother isn't harsh at all but there were some times where she was and I know now that it was for the best.
I hope you had a beautiful Mother's day.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Athina! It was a nice Mother's Day. The boys held off they fits and craziness until Monday. A true gift. I loved your latest Harry Hole review! I'm still thinking about it. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Delete*hugs* Robyn. It is true that tough love can go a long way! Especially my two oldest kids keep telling me they love me for having been so strict with them when they were younger *evil grin* and they comment on kids that don't say hello or thank you for example... It is hard sometimes, though, because we always want our kids to be happy and never hurt anywhere, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure glad John already knows you're a great mom!
Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews
There are some things I could be tougher about like table manners, but first I must learn them...I'm pretty tough about fairness and treating others kindly. I realized I went a little too far when I saw John "sharing" the basketball with the other team during a game. After the game I broke out a little chant. "What do you want?" "The ball!" "What do you want?" "The ball!" "Then take it, John."
DeleteI love that your kids appreciate what you taught them! Happy and not hurt are constant wishes for our kids. You are so right! Happy Friday, Lexxie!!