I was an artsy student in college (but don't think I was cool or anything because I wasn't). I had paint under my nails and holey overalls and a constant faraway look on my face. After parties, I'd study my coursebook to plan out all the amazing classes I could take. Then in my less than sober state, I'd plan semester after semester. Which was why I ended up taking classes like History of India and Artificial Intelligence (it had a seriously cool title).
In the mess of liberal arts classes that would in no way prepare me for the real world, I discovered poetry. I don't write poetry now, maybe because I don't drink anymore. I plan to start drinking. It's on the list of things to do, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. But back then with a glass of wine I'd climb out my older than dirt living room window onto the older than snot roof and write (and drink...just a tiny bit, honest).
I was inspired and a little broken. I'd lived enough to see too much but not long enough to move on. Maybe it's the artist way, to hold on to what cuts us, to hold on so we can give it away one day in a magical way. I'm not broken anymore. Not healed either. I'm holding on just long enough to find the world my story fits into so it's not my story anymore because I'm finally ready to let it go. I think that's good.
(By Paul Mannix (Flamingos flying, Lake Nakuru National Park, Kenya) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)
On another note, check out those freaking flying flamingos!
Oh, Robyn. I missed posts like this. It's like you take a little part of your soul and share it with us and it always has a beauty and a melancholy, like a beautiful black swan, (Flamingos are good though too!:) )
ReplyDeleteI can totally picture you in holey overalls, drinking and writing. I think you deserve one night at home to wear those holey overalls and drink and write again.
Have a great weekend and .... swim away, Robyn!
I think you are so right about the overalls, drink, and notebook! I only have the notebook, but I'll get on it! As scattered as I am and cheery (only sometimes, promise), I think I'll always have a touch of darkness. Do you feel that way too?
DeleteGreat weekend to you too! And fly my friend!
Robyn, you definitely deserve to fly and grab those floating words and write again. You have the whole world in your hands.
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Thanks for the good words, Ki! I'm feeling inspired these days. How was your book girl weekend?
DeletePerhaps poetry was your way of coping. Maybe you *should* have a glass of wine and write some again. It might help in letting go. I'm glad you're ready. I'll do whatever I can to assist...you know I'll be happy to help you drink. ;) But seriously, it is a good thing to be ready. Good things are coming, chickie...they're coming. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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