Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Think Out Loud [10] Worst First Dates

I've been thinking about dating and how I do not have the best track record in this area.

High school, hot guy friend Marcello asks me to the Valentine's Day Ball. He's Italian and tall and a total player. I'm crushing hard on a different boy and we're only at the mild flirting stage, so I say yes to the dance. Enter an all day car wash, a bathing suit, and a stupid girl. My back was burned so bad it blistered all over, but my mom told me you never back out at the last minute. I went to the dance, severely pink faced and very grumpy. My first words to my amorous friend? "Touch me at all and I'll kick you in the nuts." The date was a big fat bust...totally my fault.

College, cute boy at my favorite coffee shop gets to talking to me and then asks me out. I give him my address...because really, I had no concept of reality. He knocks on my door only a few hours later. Holy goodness. He's wearing a dress. On our date. A dress he must have bought at Ross the same time I did because it looked just like mine, only without the tights. Soooo he took me to a lesbian bar. We went out several times after that, but I let him have at my closet first.

College again, neighbor with bright green hair asks me out. This one should have been obvious, but I really loved the particular green he chose, think Manga and anime. He was straight out of a Japanese comic! And I was an artist and stupid. This is him in the car after hours of revealing the Manga color was not a coincidence, "If I had to have sex with any guy it would be him." Him being his best friend whose house we just had to stop at on the way home. 

I've learned a lot since I was a kid, like not handing out my address to a total stranger. And not deciding to go out with a guy just because he chose a pretty green color to dye his hair. 

How about you, what have you been thinking about? Join Think's meme and have a chat!

12 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, this is both funny and a little scary, Robyn! I think I would have fallen for the green hair as well - I love different!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I know though, green hair does not mean the guy is interesting. It might mean he's obsessed with Manga and crushing on his best guy friend. Scary, yes. That wasn't even the most naive small island girl thing I did. I hope my mom skips this post!

      Delete
  2. LOL your track record sounds so much like mine... if it helps... you will find him :) I took awhile for me (and too many rounds of try to figure out guys) but I did it!

    Ahh but those war stories are just what gives our pre-married life the color it needs :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the words of encouragement! I'll be sure to keep this in mind for all those future war stories!

      Delete
  3. I'm laughing out loud as I read this, Robyn! I had some doozies for dates as well. Oh the stories...I married the guy who told me at the end of our first date "um, I kinda have a girlfriend!" We ended up being great friends for 4 years before realizing maybe we could make a go of it. Good luck with dating - it'll go better this time since you have those life lessons under your belt. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is hilarious! I love it. I have yet to hear that line. What a great getting together story.

      Let's hope for smoother sailing, but now I feel like I should come with a disclaimer, "Hi, I'm Robyn and I will blog about this."

      Delete
  4. Great topic! I have the worst dating track record. I enjoyed reading this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope it cheered you up! Seems like a bad track record is the trend.

      Delete
    2. This was very funny! I don't know how bad I am at picking dates, but I don't think I am very good at being a date. I often 'dont' have time for' guys because I won't go out if I have Zane. And I think my signals come out all wrong. So if I'm having a horrible time apparently they think I'm having a wonderful time and vice versa. Jaclyn @ JC's Book Haven.

      Delete
    3. The mixed signals is hilarious, uh, maybe not for you. I can just see it though. I've waited on tables where I wanted to clue the guy into how doomed he was. I'm in the same boat with the no time business. I claw at every second of the weekends and I still beat myself up when I squander my free time.

      Delete
  5. Hilarious! And what a nice topic! Well, I've had the good and the bad in dating. But then, it's just nice to think back on the mistakes you make and become determined not to make them again. I think mistakes are good somehow, especially when years later you look back on them and have a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I completely agree! The rough ones make you stronger, the funny ones entertain you for years, and the embarrassing ones make you cringe forever!

      Delete