Monday, April 8, 2013

April is Autism Awareness Month


Your little one doesn't talk, so this is what you hear from your loved ones. "Einstein didn't talk until he was five."
You can't believe his intense focus when he plays with his toys."He's going to be an engineer."
You repeat his name over and over again. "He's such a snob."
You finally reach out to a professional and ask a simple question. "He lines up all his toys. Is that normal?"
 
The answer? Most likely your first inquiry will be ignored. So ask again and again until you're heard. You'll be okay, I promise because I went through this. There is a silent grace to autism. No matter how hard you work to reach your child, no matter how much you cry over his future struggles, there will always be this beautiful untouchable part of his spirit that belongs to this strange puzzle of the mind, or the nervous system, or the ether of the soul. Who knows? But it will be okay.

Here are a few of my tricks of the trade.

During my son's nonverbal years, he loved his shows. We had a stack of DVD's he'd throw fits in front of until I guessed the right one. I took the DVD's out and put them in a Case Logic. Next I taped the empty DVD cases shut and placed them on a shelf he could easily access. Here's the hard part. I had to stretch my patience and ability to sit back and not jump in to solve the problem. We started small. All Will needed to do was indicate somehow which show he wanted. We moved on to pointing his finger. I showed him over and over what I wanted, then played the role of cheerleader for even the smallest step in the right direction. We went from slapping the cases to pointing at them to grunting sounds to saying "want" to making word combinations. Maybe you won't reach the words part, but don't discount sign language, which you can add after the pointing stage. (pointing is a huge deal, so don't give up on that)

Winter time was a nightmare with my son because he refused to wear his coat. The fits were insane! So here's what I came up with and for whatever reason it worked like a dream. "One arm, two arms." Can you believe it? Just that line in a singsongy voice as you hold the coat up for him to slip one arm in, then the other. I'm telling you it's magic. It works with pants and shoes too! "One leg, two legs." "One foot, two feet."

Reading. Goodness, this is tough. My son has an amazing memory; the words free float in his mind instead of him putting them together to create concepts and connections. I took his favorite story books (Cars, Scooby, Bob the Builder...) and wrote little captions on the pages using words he knew and referring to the pictures displayed. "Do you see the moon?" Keep it simple and stick to your captions when you read the books. Make sure to throw in questions so you have a better chance at getting a response from him.

Stimming. Yikes! We lived in a house with a galley kitchen through his toddler years. I ran that boy into the ground. "I'm gonna get you" is universal for all abilities. We laughed and ran. I wore him out maybe five or six times in the thousands of laps. Only thing with this trick, which helped greatly at centering him and calming him down for the rest of the day, was he went through a smacking phase. I do not like to be smacked. Make sure you quickly address that before it becomes ingrained. Life is too hard to throw hitting on top of it.

If you have any tricks you want to share, please do. Will is closing in on eleven and he acts like a petulant teen already. We struggle with homework and class participation. He has bouts of mimicking (echolalia) that usually have to run its course until he's calm enough to take a breath and be quiet for a bit. Do you have a story to share?
Will at the Special Olympics. He tried to make the runners even by slowing down. He wanted everyone to win. He really is so neato!

12 comments:

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    1. Thanks so much. I love sharing my experience with autism with people.

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  2. Wow, you were so patient, that is amazing! Your son looks like an awesome kid! I don't know much about autism just from what I've read and watched, fiction and real discovery programming. Also my cousin is a psychologist that specializes in autism so we've talked about it. So nice of you to share your tips with other parents who might need it.

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    1. Thanks Rivie! Will inspires that kind of patience in people. I have tons of tips because I spent so much time when he was little thinking and coming up with possible workarounds.

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  3. I love the picture, and the post, Robyn. You are one of the most awesome people I know! I absolutely adore how much you focus on how his differences make him a bright star. Excellent tips for everyone, here. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself and your boys with us :D Jaclyn @ JC's Book Haven

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    1. Aww, thank you for the good words! As you know with Zane, finding what makes our kids beautiful is easypeasy. Maybe preserving it is the hard part.

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  4. What a beautiful post. I watched as you pondered those challenges, worked through those creative moments of genius that gave Will a voice and a choice before he found his words. It's the same brave, generous spirit that commands you to share these ideas with others facing those same or similar challenges. As I've told you many times, I want to be just like you when I grow up. Love, mom

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    1. Aw shucks. I did have some creative genius moments with Will. Amazing how the typical kid is the one who makes me want to pull my hair out and scream at the heavens.

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  5. You really are one of the best mommies I know. I see Will and his spirit soar when he is contemplating and/or figuring out how to express is happiness. You have done a wonderful job with Will. good going kid.

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    1. Thanks Shann, those are awesome words. Good thing you wrote this before tonight's visit. Your tone might have been a little...different. hehe

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  6. Thanks for sharing this post. It's an inspiring read and I hope that other people struggling with Autism would read it. I didn't have any idea of autism until I began reading books or seeing articles about it. I've seen a movie with an Autistic person as the protagonist.

    I hope many parents would treat their children with so much love and be patient with them, just like you are with Will. Here in Nigeria, sorry to say, society doesn't care much about autistic people. They have just two words to describe them: 'Mad people' or sometimes they're called 'imbeciles'

    I'm hoping the people here would change that notion and learn to treat them with love, and also believe in them, for they're part of the society and they're not losers; they can become successful in future too.

    Thanks again for sharing this post!

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    1. I had it easy with Will because he's the kind of soul that inspires you to reach out and want to help him. I share your hopes with you for Nigeria. In the 1950's certain members of the psychology field coined the label "refrigerator mothers" for the mothers of children with autism. There are schools of thought here in the US that still blame parenting. I have hopes for the US too!

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